


And If I Fall

by princessmelia



Series: Scientists In Love [4]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Angst, Brain Damage, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Post-Coma, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-17
Updated: 2014-07-17
Packaged: 2018-02-09 07:42:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1974564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/princessmelia/pseuds/princessmelia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fitz is not alright after the incident. “It wasn’t graceful.  It wasn’t pretty.  It broke Simmons’ heart.” Warning: Extremely angsty.</p>
            </blockquote>





	And If I Fall

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by the gas station scene from The Fault In Our Stars. Please enjoy!

Simmons was on her way to visit him, like she always did in the afternoon. Fitz’s recovery had been going well over the past several weeks, but she could tell he was getting more and more frustrated with things. It was all she could do to keep her own spirits up in the face of his negativity.

The crash that echoed down the hallway sent her feet sprinting to make it to his room.

“Fitz?”

He was sprawled on the ground, legs in a disarray and his right arm stretched out in front of him. His left arm, unfortunately was pinned under the weight of his chest. 

“Oh, Fitz,” she breathed in a shaky voice before moving to kneel beside him. He was panting heavily and his eyes were screwed shut. Lifting under his armpits, she helped him turn over onto his back, leaving Fitz to push up with his right arm into a sitting position. His left arm stayed cradled to his chest.

“Let me see,” she commanded as she angled hrself to simultaneously sit beside him and face him directly.

“It’s fine,” he hissed, pulling his arm closer.

“It’s not. Now, let me see it.” The look he gave her was near murderous, but he let her inspect his arm anyway. “What did you do?”

“Nothing.”

“Fitz…”

“I wanted to do something for myself, alright?” he snapped. “Just this once. The remote was on the table, and I wanted to get it. Myself. I’m a bloody genius, I should be able to get a remote.” His face was turning red as he spoke, from both anger and embarrassment if Simmons could still read him correctly.

“It was stupid, Fitz,” she chided. The arm wasn’t broken again, and it didn’t need to be reset, which was good. “You know the neurons that control your leg muscles aren’t functioning. It’s not a muscle thing you can work out. It will take--”

“I know all that,” he practically barked. “I thought my upper body was strong enough, with all the therapy I’ve been through. And there was something to hold on to the whole way there.”

“It was still stupid.” The arm was yanked out of her grasp quickly. Looking up, she saw Fitz had twisted his torso, reaching up to the side of his bed in an attempt to get off the ground.

Scrambling upwards, she reached out her hands to help him. “Let me--””

“I can do it by myself.”

“But if you just let me--”

“Stop it!” The words were shouted and harsh and with a heave, Fitz managed to get his upper half onto the bed. It wasn’t graceful. It wasn’t pretty. It broke Simmons’ heart. 

Flipping himself over, Fitz glared at her and sat up. “See? I’m fine.”

She crossed her arms in annoyance. “I was only trying to help.”

“Maybe I don’t want your help. All you’ve done since I woke up is coddled me and treated me like I’m fragile. You want to help me? You should’ve let me die down there in that pod.”

Simmons froze. She’d known he was angry, frustrated, upset. She knew the past few weeks hadn’t been easy for him, she’d known that depression and suicidal thoughts could be side effects of his condition. 

But knowing doesn’t make things easier.

His face was set, eyes the same color of the water that nearly killed them both. And as she looked at the pain and anger in those eyes, she felt something in her breaking beyond repair.

“I’m sorry. Maybe I should have.” The words were whispered, but maybe they were true. His life was miserable in his state, and it was her fault.

The tears fell without her consent and she scrubbed them away with her sleeve. She only stayed a few more seconds, staring as Fitz kept his angry glare before she turned and fled the room.

The sobs began as she walked faster and faster down the hallway. 

“Simmons!” His voice carried, and it only spurred her forward.

“Jemma!” The cry made her sprint as she turned the corner and collapsed to the ground, hugging her knees to her chest.

She had only wanted to save him. But in doing so, had she done more harm than help? Was a life bound to a chair and others’ mercies a life at all?

A while later, when her sobs were mostly gone, the wheelchair squeaked as it made it’s way down the hallway. Simmons considered getting up and running. She considered it, but she didn’t act. 

“Found you.” His voice was light, but his face was serious as he rolled around the corner. She wiped her eyes before looking up at him.

“How’d you know I’d still be here?”

Shrugging, he replied, “How do we ever know these things? According to Skye, it’s our psychic link.”

She nodded, and moved her gaze down to his legs, which were at eye level. “Do you really wish that?” Her voice was a breath, and she wondered if he could even hear it. Glancing up a bit, she could see his hands moving restlessly in his lap.

“Sometimes,” he admitted quietly. “But not for long. It was a stupid thing for me to say.”

“So you’re not mad at me?”

She could hear his frustrated sigh and finally looked up at his face. It was a mix of exasperation and loathing. She inferred the first was for her and the latter for him.

“God, no, Jemma. Please, don’t ever think I blame you.”

She had her arms wrapped around his neck in a second, her body halfway in and halfway out of the chair as she hugged him tightly.

“I’m sorry, Jemma.” He embraced her tightly back, pulling her almost entirely into the chair. “I shouldn’t have said it.”

“I shouldn’t have said it either.” She buried her face into his neck, reminding herself of how much she cared for him, and exactly why she had pulled him to the surface behind her. 

She loved him.

And no stupid arguments would change that.


End file.
